My Eyes Look In

Winters day in the swamp.

The wars I lost I shouldn’t have fought. That little phrase has more than one meaning. It could mean a literal war. It doesn’t. It could mean some kind of power struggle. That could be, but not. It could mean an internal war, the worst kind. It does.

I’m not really talking about career issues. There are those for sure, considering I have no career in either of my industries. Hopefully they’ll come back. Before I’m 90.

I’m talking about understanding my life and how I got here. It’s a reckoning of sorts. It started with dreams. Dreams about my dad. My mom. My ex-wife, who I called because sometimes I get these weird feelings when I dream about somebody that I haven’t talked to in a long while. I would have called my parents, but that’s a really long distance call. I probably should go visit their gravesites, which are far away enough.

That’s not all.

I dream about high school friends who I haven’t found on Facebook. I dream about old friends and girlfriends. I dream about old neighbors.

My nights have been pretty active. Sometimes I awake in a good mood. Sometimes I wake up in a bad mood because the dreams weren’t particularly good.

On balance, I’d say that the good ghosts far outweigh the bad. But who knows what’s coming.

This should help to explain yesterday. I really don’t care who acknowledges me. I care about you, the readers of Storyteller. I care about trying to make a good innovative photograph. Someday, when I’m 91, I hope to get paid again.

At least I’m hoping for a nice long life.

Nature. I’m not really a nature photographer. I don’t make grand and glorious pictures of the work of ma nature.

Lots of people do. I’m just not one of them. I suppose I’m disqualified because I rarely photograph sunsets.

I do photograph scenes in my neighborhood, like this picture. The difference between me and a nature photographer is that they may travel hundreds of miles to get to their location. I walk out my front door.

It’s a stand of trees that I compressed to give them density. There is no layering. This is just one picture.

Most of my studio work was done in Snapseed and finished in OnOne. Those two combined with Photo Mechanic are my go to editing apps.

Questions? Concerns?

Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay mighty. Wear your mask. Wash your hands. Keep your distance. Always look after each other. Enjoy nature.



7 responses to “My Eyes Look In”

  1. Judi Castille Avatar

    This photo would make a beautiful tapestry. OneOne…going to potter off and look that up. I love Snapseed…thankyou for letting me know about that too. Camera hasn’t been out but I am sketching so by dnd of year the two will be working together.
    I do staying touch with old friends. Like you I have a dream. I must act on dreams…they are notifications and mean something. I feel my brain has been cleaning its filing cabinet and a long list piece of paper has fallen out. I pick it up and its actually important. So I deal with it. Dreams are never nonsense.


    1. Ray Laskowitz Avatar

      Have at if you’d like. I still believe what Carl Jung said, ” dreams are answers to questions that haven’t been formed.” I often have a lot of searching dreams, but not lately. They’ve been very real.


      1. Judi Castille Avatar

        Thanks. I have phases of dreaming. The recent migraines drug was astounding…Nocertone. Tony said my brain was producing noticeably more complex language and ideas! Well wasnt I excited wanting to write and sketch. The downsize was the heaviness first thing and after a week my head felt raw…and the migraines were worse. Real dreams seem to provide a more satisfactory sleep so I assume they are at a deeper level perhaps.i think it was Dali who used to sleep in a chair with a bell that would wake him as he ‘dozed’ off. That way he would keeping the cusp between sleep and wakefulness.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ray Laskowitz Avatar

        It’s actually kind of backwards. The deeper you sleep the better you dream. Unfortunately, even though it seems like hours to us while we are dreaming, it’s usually our last ten minutes of sleep that are deepest, creating the best Rem and in which we dream.


      3. Judi Castille Avatar

        We both need very very creative busy ten minutes then with our histories of insomnia and back pain interruptions!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ray Laskowitz Avatar

        I just work until I lose my juju. Usually, that’s about three hours. Then, I’m done.


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